Wow! Yesterday’s events took so much out of me. I have just been sleeping and sleeping. I am very glad, after all, that I did not have to go back to work today. I would have been asleep at my desk! I guess I didn’t realize how tiring it can be to be out in the world after being home for so long. Just navigating unfamiliar sidewalks and stairs took a lot of concentration and energy. Plus, trying to make visual sense out of an auditorium that was a huge blur of movement and color was a huge undertaking for me. This is a close approximation of the way it looked to me.
Now, imagine me trying to pick out my daughter among that blur and you will see why it was tiring.
Here is an update about my vision since my Vitrectomy. The bubble in my left eye now takes up about 1/3 of the lower half of my vision. It looks like a little black circle floating in the lower center of that eye. Sometimes, a tiny bubble breaks off from it and holds onto the edge for a couple of hours and then disappears. Here is my (amateurish) drawing of how the bubble usually looks to me as I look out my left eye, and how it looks when a tiny bubble breaks off:
The bubble is not really a problem anymore, except when I am looking down. When I look down (to walk down the stairs or to look at the food on my plate, for example) it appears to float up into the center of my vision. This makes it annoyingly difficult to see until I raise my head. The easiest thing to do is just close my left eye when the bubble gets in my way. I also close my left eye when I want to focus on something. So, I am still spending quite a bit of time with that eye closed. When I look through the left eye without glasses or contact (and the bubble is down at the bottom) it seems like my vision is the same as it was without my contact before the surgery. However, when I put my glasses on, my vision through that eye is not normal. The best way I can think of to describe it is that it looks like I am watching TV and someone has poured milk down the front of the screen. Everything looks streaky and misaligned. I am sure this is damage from the surgery and I am fairly sure (hoping) it is temporary. I also have a blind spot just off center that I am afraid will be permanent. My eye still aches most of the time and I still get headaches every day. I now take three different eye drops, each twice a day. These really make my eye ache badly for about an hour after I apply them.
I am feeling stronger every day. When I first had my surgery, any time I picked up anything it felt like my eye was bulging out of its socket. Now I can lift most things (not too heavy) without feeling this alarming bulging sensation. I believe I am going to make great strides in my recuperation this week. I am hoping to get out and go for longer walks. I want to just move more, in general.
Emotionally, I am able to keep a positive attitude. I keep believing that this surgery will have worked and that my vision in my left eye will stabilize. I am thankful for my family for their understanding and support throughout this process. I am on the lookout for new insights and wisdom as I travel this path. I am seeking grace, which is everywhere if I only will train my eyes and heart to see it.