It is a gray, gloomy day today and I am wandering around the house turning on lights.  I can’t seem to make it bright enough.  This is another aspect of my vision loss – difficulty seeing in dim light.  I turned on all the lights in the living room and it still seems dark to me.  I tried huddling right in the pool of light under a floor lamp but was still unable to comfortably read the Sunday paper.  I think we may need to bring more lights into at least one or two rooms in our house.  Perhaps I can ask about this when I go for my low vision evaluation at ABVI.

I am seeking the light.  It’s a good metaphor for my life.  What is the light?  What is the truth?  How can I see the world more clearly, understand it more deeply?  I want to probe into the deep recesses of every subject and shed light on its mysteries.  I want to read everything, experience everything, learn everything, understand everything, see everything.  Before it’s too late.  There is a sense of urgency now, as my vision diminishes.

The good news is that I know, even though I have a sense of urgency, there really is no rush.  There are tools to help me see and understand all the subjects of the world even with low vision.  Technology is always advancing.  Tools are always being refined.  Tomorrow, the sun will shine and the world will not seem so dark and dim.  Losing vision is not the end of the world.  It has already brought me to the community of blind photographers and the excitement of seeing a blurry world come into focus through my photos.  I am sure that there are other gifts in store.  I just have to keep looking for the grace hidden in this low vision life.


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