Focus

My eyes are putting on a little show for me today.  Sparkling and quivering, blurring and floating, things are moving around and making it difficult to see.  I’m looking at the world through an interesting lens today.  It’s challenging to look through the lens and not at the lens.  I find myself focusing on the sparkles and the floaters instead of my computer screen and desk and the view out my window.  I have to keep reminding myself to focus farther away.

Low vision, in general, is tending to make me have a narrow focus.  It is easy to start thinking small, staying home, closing in.  I want to be on guard against that.   The more narrowly I focus, the more I focus on the distortions on the lens, the less clearly I am able to see the rest of the world.  I don’t want to let vision difficulties define me or my world.  I don’t want my life to diminish as my vision deteriorates.  I want to keep my focus on the big picture, and let the distortions, sparkles, floaters, fall into the background.  It can be difficult to look past the distortions, but it is not impossible.

What steps am I able to take to keep a wider focus?  A lot of it is about my attitude, focusing on what I can do instead of what I can’t do any longer.  Not letting my fear of falling keep me from getting outside and going for a walk.  Not letting my fear of failure (or worse, mediocrity) keep me from taking photos.  Meet people, even if their faces are unrecognizable.  Learn something new.  Learn new ways to do the things I already know.  Use low vision tools and technology.  Move more slowly, but don’t stop moving.  Find the grace in this low vision life.

There is grace.  There is good news.  The world is still out there, just beyond the distorted lens.  I want to go and meet it.

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