Seeing

I can hardly see at all today.  Even though the light is dim, thanks to the cloudy Rochester weather, it is still hurting my eyes.  It really seems like there is some kind of greasy coating on my contacts.  I keep taking them out and cleaning them, even though I know the problem is my eyes and not my contacts at all.  Through my left eye, everything is a blur.  It almost seems like it would be better to cover that eye and let my right eye do what it can by itself.  It is hard work just to see past the floaters and other debris so that I can look out at the world.  I am a long way from being disabled, but my vision certainly is impaired today.

My eyes have a big week next week.  Monday I have an appointment with my retina specialist for a shot of Avastin in my right eye.  Last time I saw him, he mentioned that there had been a change in my left eye.  I want to find out what he meant.  It is obvious that something bad is going on in that left eye.  It will be a relief to find out what he thinks is happening.  On Wednesday I will go to ABVI (Association for the Blind and Visually Impaired) for a low vision evaluation.  I have a lot of paperwork to fill out – many, many questions about the relative difficulty of performing different tasks.  Hopefully, the people at ABVI will provide some tools or give me some guidance so that I can continue to be an asset at my jobs.  My husband, John, is going to go to both of these appointments with me.  He always understands things clearly, while I tend to get overwhelmed by emotion and stop listening.  My new contacts and glasses should also arrive this week and my optometrist says that they will improve my vision quite a bit.  I have a lot of hope as I look forward to next week.

I am trying to use a text reader at work.  (Thank for the suggestion, Nicola.)  The mechanical voice is just awful.  I can get used to it, though.  The problem is, I still read along as “he” is talking.  I have to figure out what I am supposed to do with my eyes while I am listening.  If I am going to read along, there is no point in using it.  I feel ridiculous having trouble with the reader, but I believe that it will be a help if I can get used to it.  I am really excited to learn about other tools that are available.  I feel very grateful for all of the advances that have been made in tools and medicine and technology for the visually impaired.  Thanks to everyone who is doing research in this field.

The sun is starting to shine just as I am finishing.  It is turning out to be a day full of hope and gratitude!

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One thought on “Seeing

  1. Hi, glad to hear that you are giving the reader a go. I too found it hard when I was learning to use supernova to allow me to support our blind students better, as I could see it was very tempting to use my eyes. The best advice I was given was to turn the screen off (if you can) or adjust the brightness.
    It is hard to change habits like these. What do you look at when listening to music or the radio? it might help. I hope that you get some local assistance, they may be able to suggest another strategy for you. You know this could be your no. 26, mind you, nothing stopping you learning many new skills! Nicola

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