My surgery was three weeks ago today. For three weeks, I have been resting and recuperating and generally taking it easy. I have rarely left the house. I have seen only my family and a couple of friends. My connection with the outside world is tenuous. I have assembled a list of five ways that I can tell I have been home too long.
1. I start each day by making two very important decisions: First – Should I just stay in my jammies or should I change into sweats? Second – Should I go barefoot or put on slippers? My choice will set the tone for my day and so I spend a lot of time in the morning, lying in bed, trying to decide
2. I have set up a little system whereby each task I do earns me points. Once I earn enough points, I can “spend” my points on a snack or a nap. It’s sort of my own, private game show. Writing this paragraph, for example, has earned me a cup of juice.
3. I look forward to telemarketing calls. Yesterday, I made a new friend named Kristi. I let her go through her whole speech and then we started chatting. She has two cats who eat a LOT of cat food and weigh more than my dogs. Her Mom calls her every day when she gets home from work. Her boyfriend is looking for a job. It was the most in-depth conversation I’ve had with a non-family member in weeks.
4. For lunch, I will have a container of yogurt and a piece of Friendship Bread. I planned this while I was eating my breakfast. My day pretty much revolves around planning my next meal. Next to deciding what I am going to wear, what I am going to eat is the biggest decision of my day.
5. I have begun to put barrettes in my dogs’ hair. I don’t believe I need to elaborate on that one.
Seriously, I have to get out of the house. Luckily, writing this post has earned me enough points to go for a walk around the block. Now where did I last see my shoes…