What Goes Up, Must Come Down

Writing a blog is hard on the ego.  It’s not the writing, so much, that takes a toll.  I love writing my daily posts.  It’s the up and down of the numbers.  Every day, I agonize over the number of page views my blog is receiving.  On days when few people are visiting, I whine and complain.  What am I doing wrong?  Have my posts been boring?  On days when the numbers are soaring, I try to analyze the success – Where are the viewers coming from?  How are they finding my blog?  Will they return?  My numbers are very inconsistent.  They skyrocket and then, the  next day, plummet.  (Seriously, my page views the last few days were 65, 35, 54, 186, 10)  My hopes rise and fall along with my numbers.

There are innumerable people, out there in the blogosphere, writing about how to increase your numbers.  (A google search for “increase blog traffic” returned 10,800,000 results.)  You have to maintain several social networks.  You have to constantly monitor other blogs, making relevant comments, getting noticed.  I tried to promote my blog in these ways for a while, but promotion is really not what this is about for me.  This blog is about writing.  And my writing is about exploring my transition into low vision living – everything from my daily experiences, to the impact of grace on my life, to my attempts at photography, to advances in technology and education for the visually impaired, to the blind in scripture, literature and movies.  I have had several nice comments from friends and family, saying that my blog helps them to understand what is happening with my vision.  I have also had comments from others who are visually impaired or blind, saying that they have been where I am, that they are on this journey with me.  Other comments have been from those who are visiting my blog to seek information about vitrectomy or avastin or vision problems.  I welcome all comments.  I am grateful for all my readers.

I have stopped trying to “drive traffic to my blog.”  That is not to say that I don’t care whether anyone reads it.  I care a lot.  I just can’t base my happiness on how many views I get each day.  I have to learn to get beyond the numbers game.  This blog is about me trying to find the grace in my journey into low vision living and, hopefully, my journey inspiring others to find the grace in their lives and in their hardships.  I want to be a positive influence in the world and this blog might be a tool to help reach that goal.  I believe that, if I focus on that goal and write as well as I am able, I can put the numbers in their proper perspective.  That is, they will be less important than writing interesting posts, and keeping in touch with those I love, and making new friends.

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15 thoughts on “What Goes Up, Must Come Down

  1. I used to get caught up in the numbers game,too. I’d actually write peices just to be provocative and drive up the numbers.

    But I realized I was not being honest when I did that sort of thing. Plus, it tended to get me caught up in debates, arguments, defending myself, and some very un-Franciscan type thinking.

    Starting last fall, I’ve tried to focus more on the things that matter to me – my journey in the Secular Franciscan Order, pro-life activities, music, and poetry. My numbers have dropped, but I’m writing more about what matters to me.

    Keep doing what you’re doing!

    • It’s nice to hear that, in your experience, going after the numbers isn’t satisfying in the end. Good, bad, or ugly I write from my heart about my own life journey and thoughts. I visited your blog (and found slugs galore!) and look forward to reading more. I am glad that you have decided to write about what matters to you. May I add you blog to my blogroll? Belinda

  2. I’m one of those you’ve successfully drawn in through social networking. I keep a blog too, and eradic numbers are just part of the game I guess. I figure the best I can do is to write because I enjoy it, and perhaps hopefully educate, entertain and inform others in the process. I haven’t gotten to hear from people who are adjusting to vision loss as adults that often, at least not early on in the process, so I am interested in watching your story unfold. Of course everything’s not easy, but I think you’re doing a great job. Your posts make great reading, and I certainly intend to come back for more on a regular basis. Keep your head up!

    • Thanks for the encouragement and the positive feedback on my blog. When I wrote today’s post, I was really writing to myself, because I need to learn that numbers are not important. The wonderful comments I have received today have made me feel very good about myself and my blog. I really was not intending to “fish” for compliments, so it is nice that I have “caught” so many! It will be nice getting to know you through your blog. Thanks again for the nice comment.

  3. Belinda I have been busy but get daily notes on your blog. I never have “logged into” a blog before. You are my first. THAT should make you smile! I think that if one person logged/viewed your blog daily and it made a difference in that persons life that would be the best thing. But I can see how you feel though so here is a big hug ((hug)) headed your way. Although this sounds strange I am trying to put blinders on with my vision problems. Sometimes I just stay away from things when I am able to handle the vision stuff so that it is put on the back burner. I then come back when I need a dose of reality. I know this may not make sense but to the person that has gleaned comfort and knowledge from your blog, even if only on one day/posting, you have performed a wonderful service for that person. Just rambling but know that you are very well appreciated with your blog!

    • Pam, your comment DID make me smile. It is true that I feel like me writing is worthwhile if I think it is helping one person. i have noticed that days when I have low “numbers” are often the days that I will get a really wonderful comment from someone. Nice comments (such as the one you’ve written today) really brighten my day. It is hard not to feel sad when my numbers are low, so i really wrote today’s post to remind MYSELF that the numbers aren’t important. Thank you for making it worthwhile. And don’t be afraid of the future with your vision. I pray that God will give you strength and grace as you travel your journey. And here is a (hug) from me.

  4. Belinda,
    When Pat and I were struggling with communication and attended encounter your presentation bolstered my faith. I was reminded that faith makes things possible but not easy. Walking in that realization provides me with such grace. Consider all of those who are touched by your compassion, the realization that your candle lights a darkness into the world provides this faith to not only our family but to each of those you touch daily. Thank you for sharing your journey.

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