Sometimes it takes a lot to get through to me. I go along my merry way, feeling certain that I am doing well with understanding and loving others. Then, suddenly, BAM, something happens and I realize I have had a blind spot, a bias, a hard heart, toward someone or a group of people and I know that I need to address the issue inside myself. I’ve been thinking a lot about the following passage lately:
Isaiah’s prophecy is fulfilled in them, which says: ‘You shall indeed hear but not understand, you shall indeed look but never see. Gross is the heart of this people, they will hardly hear with their ears. They have closed their eyes, lest they see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and be converted, and I heal them.’ “But blessed are your eyes, because they see, and your ears, because they hear.” Matthew 13: 14-16 I can see myself in both parts of this passage. I am often ignorant, with my eyes and ears closed to new ideas. My heart is “gross” in that I hold people at a distance. I want to believe that their experience of life is the same as mine. Recently, a young woman shared with me about her living situation. Her words made their way through my previously closed ears and pierced my heart and I really heard what she was saying. My heart broke as I understood her living situation and her feelings. So much sorrow. I realized that I wanted to align myself with her, to understand her, to be with her in her pain.
In that moment, I moved from being the kind of person in the first part of the scripture to the kind of person in the second part. I was blessed to recognize the moment when my eyes began to see, my ears began to hear, my heart began to break. I am converted in that I went from being separated from my young friend to being aligned with her.
I think that one reason I am finding my low vision journey to be such a blessing is that it is preparing me for moments such as this. It is forcing me out of my comfort zone. I am no longer able to be as hard-hearted and closed minded a I was when I had good eyesight. I still have a long way to go, but I see that I am on the path to being more open and loving. I am sometimes able to see and hear, which allows me to participate in grace. I am blessed.