When God closes a door, he opens a window.
I have heard this expression all my life. It has incorporated itself into my belief system. When a “door” closes, I start looking for the “window.” Whenever I am blocked in one endeavor, I immediately look for something to fill the void left behind.
When I left my part-time youth ministry position, it really felt like a door was closing. No more ministry, no more working with teens, loss of income, loss of purpose. A door closed. Would God open a window? I began to look and wait and hope for a window.
The problem is, this door closed for a reason. I need time and energy to figure out how to live this new way, with low vision. I need down time almost every evening to rest my eyes after a day at my full-time job. I need space to figure out how to incorporate a healthier lifestyle into my too-busy life. I need to work through a lot of physical and emotional baggage about my deteriorating vision. What I do not need is a window to open to a new part-time job or a new ministry or a new task.
I realize that I need to STOP looking for a window. The door closed and I need to stay in this place for a while and learn the lessons here. It would be a mistake to frantically look for escape through a window. I would make a window and I would become busy again and I would deny myself the time and space and energy and work I need to come to terms with my vision, my health, and myself.
So, I am going to take this sentence out of my programming. For a while, I will change it to “When God closes a door, it is closed for a reason.” I will stay here, in this place and learn to live with low vision and learn to find grace in all situations and learn to have habits that are more healthy.
And then, when I have found my peace with this place, when I have learned all that I need to learn, when I am ready, then God will open a window. And then I will be ready to go wherever the new path leads.