Better Day Tomorrow

Today was not what I expected. I received a call yesterday that my Acrobat magnification system would be delivered today.  I was excited to FINALLY be getting my assistive technology.  When the IT people from ABVI came weeks ago and looked at my desk, they agreed that we needed to figure out a way to have the Acrobat monitor replace my computer monitor.  I cannot fit two monitors.  The salesperson said that it would be possible, so we ordered it.

Well, it’s not as easy as he had made it sound.  The monitor will not work with digital output, so the IT department had to switch my computer output to analog.  When they told me that, I was not sure what it meant – except that I suspected I was about to lose picture quality.  After a lot of messing around and technical issues, the system was pronounced installed.  Everyone left and I was alone with the system.

I hate it.  The picture, as I suspected, has lost a lot of distinctness.  It is really hard to read the type.  The monitor is lower, so I find myself hunching over to get closer to it.  My ZoomText is no longer working, although a quick call reassured me that if I reinstall it the problem will be solved.  The monitor is bigger, so I should be able to see better.  The camera seems cool and I think it will work to magnify print materials.  Unfortunately, the camera is made to slide over to the right and magnify things to the right of the computer.  Of course, the empty space, where I would naturally put papers to be magnified, is on the left.  There is no room on the right.  Nothing seems to fit.  Everything needs to be reorganized.

Worst of all, everyone who stops in our office asks me what the camera is and why I need it.  Over and over and over I had to tell my story to people at work.  I don’t mind family and friends knowing about my vision problems.  I don’t mind my blog readers knowing every detail of my joys and struggles.  I don’t mind my supervisor and one person in HR and one person in IT knowing that I need some accommodation.  But it bothers me to have every person who walks past my door ask questions about my vision.  It gave me a sense of powerlessness.  And, I don’t even know if the new system is worth it.

I was glad to leave at the end of the day.  It was a difficult day and I am glad it is over.  Tomorrow, I will go to work with renewed energy.  I will figure out a way to rearrange my workspace so that this new system works.  I will reinstall ZoomText so that I can enlarge everything enough to be able to read.  And, I will be prepared with short answers to the inevitable questions that will come.  I only have to reveal the information I am comfortable revealing to my coworkers, nothing more.  I will get this all figured out.  It will be a good day.

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8 thoughts on “Better Day Tomorrow

  1. I found your page via my dear friend Jim Pegoni. I would like to add to this day an invitation to write an “In Her Own Words” article – a single 550 words story pulled from your life. I am the editor and feature writer for Rochester Woman Magazine. I would love to publish a piece written by you in one of our upcoming issues. A topic hint – our November issue has a focus on the art of giving and our December issue is on Laughter.

    Please RSVP regarding my invitation.

    Cheers.

  2. You have reminded me of a question I hated, “How old is he?” The decision to disclose or not disclose Rob’s developmental problems were in my control until he got old enough that his delays were obvious to strangers, who revealed their wondering with the simple question, “How old is he?” What they didn’t realize is they had revealed their real question, “Is something wrong?” and the real answer was complex, emotional, and full of ambiguity. I hated that question.

    You said two brilliant things: “But it bothers me to have every person who walks past my door ask questions about my vision,” and “I will be prepared with short answers to the inevitable questions that will come.” Both are right. The questions will come, because the evidence is public, but you will benefit from a couple of stock answers that include different levels of information, depending on the relationship or situation. It’s emotionality exhausting to respond at the real level of the question every time.

    I learned to say, with a big smile on my face, “He’s two.” Few ventured beyond that without invitation. I hope you will find a short, simple explanation with works for you.

    • Alana, I don’t know why my posts are bringing up hard memories for you. I guess that is my gift to you. Sorry. Your insight is really helpful to me. The funniest thing is, I was all ready with my snappy response and not one person asked about the new system. Go figure! It was a good day. Thank you.

  3. Oh, how I know that feeling,,, I am one who does not appreciate change,,,never have but would like to, but even more when the change is one necessary for me…..
    I am one to ask a thousand questions and most people who have the answers that will help me use or become familiar with the changes, don’t have the patience for putting forth the effort of revealing those little bits of info that I neeeeeeed to make me more able to move forward.
    I pray for you things will go smoother. I can not
    possibly put myself in your shoes but it must
    be difficult. And, you do not have to reveal everything to everyone.
    Your co-workers are a lot of the time probably just curious…..
    There is one positive thing though, the support people seem to understand you need follow up help.
    Your attitude about tomorrow is admirable. Hang in there IT WILL BE A BETTER DAY.

    • Hi Jo, thanks for your confidence in me. Today was a better day. Much better. I figured out how to make everything fit for now. I think I still need to do a little reconfiguring, but it will get there. Thank you for your comment.

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