Development

I had an appointment with my retina specialist today for my regularly-scheduled avastin shot in my right eye.  The shot was fine, I barely felt it.  They took some pictures of both retinas and they look perfect.  Unfortunately, when I took a regular vision test, my eyesight was very bad.  My right eye has deteriorated somewhat.  And my left eye was terrible.  I could barely make out the letters at 20/200 with my contacts on.  Such a huge change is hard to accept or understand.

My rs examined my eyes and really could not explain the change.  It may be that the cataract he has been watching develop is causing more trouble than he expected.  He is sending me to an eye clinic for a couple of tests on the cataract.  If the cataract is causing the trouble, I will have surgery to remove it.  If it is not the cataract, the news is not so good.  He was very vague about some retinal changes that have occurred that might be uncorrectable.  I’m not going to think ahead and start to worry about what that might mean.  I am going to wait until after my visit to the eye clinic.  If I need cataract surgery, that is fine.  It is supposed to be very routine surgery with easy recovery.  If it is something else, I will deal with that when the time comes.

I guess it’s time to live out the values I have been talking about.  It is time to rely on my faith in God’s love and look for the grace in the situation.  I know that, even though this is a frightening development, something good will come from it.  The least helpful choice that I could make is to allow fear to take over.  The most helpful choice that I can make is to stay positive and find the grace and blessings all along this path.

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