Driving, driving, driving. I spend a lot of time thinking about driving these days. I am not supposed to drive after dark, because I absolutely can not see in dim light. When I wake up in the morning, it is dark out. I watch and wait for the daylight to grow stronger and stronger. When it is fully light, I feel safe driving. The last few days, it has been dark and rainy in the morning. I have hated my morning commute this week. During the summer days, I would be on the road to work at 7:00, since I love getting to work early. Now, the clock is inching toward 8:00 before I can leave. This means I drive in heavy traffic, which makes my commute even more stressful. And I’m barely arriving on time, bordering on being late, which I hate.
Since it is only October, I know that the hours of daylight are going to keep getting fewer and fewer. It will be light later in the morning and dark earlier in the evening. A problem is staring me in the face. I will not be able to work my regular schedule and drive in the light. I don’t even want to think about this. It frightens me and annoys me and makes me feel trapped. So, I have not made any plans. Meanwhile, every day, I get to work a little later. I don’t know what I think is going to happen. One day I will magically be able to see better? Days will stop getting shorter? This can not go on much longer. I have to find a solution.
John has offered to drive me to and from work, although my job is in the opposite direction as his. Nazareth has offered to help set up a “car pool” with people taking turns driving me to work, although the thought of this makes me very uncomfortable. I could learn to take the bus, although the bus times are not convenient and I would have to transfer downtown. I don’t like any of the solutions, so I just keep driving to work and not thinking about it. I know I can’t hide my head in the sand forever. I am just not ready to take this step. I do not want to lose the independence of driving. I know I have to make a decision soon, but I am not quite at the point of making it yet. I know that, whatever happens, it will all work out for the best.