Sometimes, I feel like I am Super Woman. I work hard, meet the needs of my family, write a daily blog, write a weekly blog, keep up with social media, spend time with my husband, do my share of household tasks. I do all these things while transitioning toward living with low vision. I stay positive and find grace and beauty everywhere and in everyone. I am Super Woman.
Then I get a cold.
I am such a baby. I whine and complain. I just want to crawl into bed and sleep and sleep. The simplest tasks seem overwhelming. I can’t find anything good to say about anything.
I don’t understand it. I am a woman who can deal with almost anything that comes my way, including deteriorating vision, with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. Why does something as small as a cold get me down? I know it will be over soon. I know it is not serious. And yet, I carry on as if I am weighed down by a heavy burden.
The last couple of days, I have felt it coming. The scratchy throat, the stuffy nose, the body aches. I have been telling myself that I am NOT going to get sick. Last night, I had the sense that there was a freight train bearing down on me, and that this cold was coming no matter what. This morning, it has arrived. I have the full host of cold symptons and I feel just awful. I told everyone in my family that I am sick. I want to make sure everyone feels good and sorry for me.
This is the opposite of my attitude toward my deteriorating vision. If anyone expresses being sorry for me about that, I dismiss it. My vision loss is nothing that requires sympathy. This cold is another story. As I sit here at work, sipping my tea and blowing my nose, I would like everyone’s sympathy. I am being a complete brat and I don’t even feel bad about it.
Maybe it’s because I know that it will end soon that I feel free to give in to feeling rotten. I don’t try to rise above it or make the best of it. I just want to go to bed and have my family take care of me. So much for my positive attitude. It is nowhere to be found. Today, I am not Super Woman. I have a cold.