Getting Ready

I only have a few days left at my job at Nazareth College.  Friday will be my last day, and I will start my new job at ABVI on Monday.  This morning, someone from IT came and unhooked my Acrobat monitor from my computer and switched it for a regular monitor.  I will take the Acrobat with me to my new job.  The Acrobat is a monitor with a camera attached that enlarges paperwork and shows it on the monitor.  It’s very cool.   I thought I could manage for a few days with a smaller monitor, but today was a hard day.  I had forgotten how small a “regular” monitor is – and how difficult to see.

This reminded me of a strange thing.  When I am home, I feel normal.  When I am in my office at work, I feel normal.  It doesn’t even seem like I have vision problems.  I know where everything is.  I have made adaptations so that I can do all the tasks I need to complete.  It’s only when I venture outside of the familiar or when an adaptation (like my Acrobat) is missing, that I am reminded that I have a “disability.”

Actually, most of the time it feels like I am pretending that I can see.  I walk around campus and look toward people’s faces and smile and say hello, as if I can tell who they are.  Most of the time I fool everyone into believing I can see, even myself.  I have great “visual mapping” skills, so I can memorize the stationary parts of my surroundings and get around almost as well as a fully-sighted person.

I’m a little nervous about starting my new job because I will be spending a lot of time in a new, unfamiliar environment.  It will be hard, at first, to fake that I know my way around.  I am hoping that I can learn the floor plan quickly, so that I feel comfortable as soon as possible.  At least I know that the people who work at ABVI understand about having low vision.  I just really want to go in and start off on the best foot possible.  I hope that I can do as well (and have as much fun) at ABVI as I have at Nazareth College.  I believe that grace had a hand in guiding me to this job, so I also believe that grace will help me make a smooth transition.


6 thoughts on “Getting Ready

  1. You are a positive person with great skills and as I see it the one best suited for success is your ability to recognize your blessings and appreciate them….Keep up the great work and as always I
    enjoy reading your blog as most of us can relate and you are so honest about your fears etc.
    Praying for your peace of mind in this situation.

    • Thanks for the vote of confidence, Jo. As the time to start my new job gets closer, excitement is really winning out over nervousness. Thanks for your comment and your encouragement.

  2. Yes! Pretending I can see. I feel the same way you do – at home and at work, I forget that I am disabled. BUT when I go to Target and have to get close to see everything or worse, if I have to travel alone I tend to panic and that only makes it worse. I got on a tram at the San Francisco airport a couple years ago because I tried to pretend I could see all the signs ( I could have if I had just slowed down and didn’t try to ‘pretend’) and ended up in the middle of the rental car lot at midnight. But you have to laugh at yourself or what else can you do. I just feel bad when I pass people who I know and never know they are there! So may ways of trying to ‘pass’ as something we are not…..

    • I’m so glad you understood what I was trying to say. It’s nice to know someone else is a “pretender.” You are right that I do just have to laugh at myself when my pretending goes wrong. Thank you so much for commenting.

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