Yesterday was a crazy day. I was so cold when waiting for the bus that I just took the first bus that stopped. It was the wrong bus and I ended up riding all over the west side of the city before arriving at Main and Clinton. The nice part of the bus ride was that my son, Ben, was on the bus with me. He didn’t sit with me, but I could hear his voice as he talked and laughed with his friend. Because of the longer route and the snowy conditions, the ride took thirty-five minutes instead of the usual fifteen. The walk from the bus stop to work was very cold and very difficult. I wasn’t late to work, but certainly later than I expected to be. I arrived breathless and freezing cold.
At lunch, I went through the line in the cafeteria. I take my lunch, so I always skip the hot food and just grab a cup of water. Instead of ignoring me, everyone in the line started yelling “Cutter!” I looked up and saw that it was people I know and I laughed and laughed. I realized that I have already made great friends at this new job, friends that can joke around with me. I felt this amazing sense of belonging welling up inside me.
During a meeting with my boss, I knocked her pencil sharpener off a shelf. The little drawer flew out and pencil shavings went everywhere. It was such a mess. Instead of remembering that I can’t see well, I felt clumsy and foolish. It was so embarrassing. Still, it was just a little accident and my boss was kind about it.
The snow just kept falling and falling all day. I watched it pile up outside my window. I could see the traffic crawling along the expressway. I worried all day about my kids driving in that weather. At about three o’clock, a woman from work came into my office and said that she would be going near my house on her way home and that she could give me a ride. I happily agreed. After work, as her car crawled the four miles to my house, we talked and talked and talked. I felt such a strong sense that God had put the two of us together in that car at that moment. It took over an hour to get home, but the time flew by in a flash.
At home, John had prepared a really nice dinner. Ben and Sam and his girlfriend, Julie, were home. Emily arrived home shortly after I did, so we were all together for a nice dinner on that snowy, blustery evening.
It was a very strange day, full of ups and downs. But, it was also a day full of God’s presence and grace in snow and accidents, in family and friends.
Losing Vision Gaining Insight 
I still find it hard not to be embarrassed by my low-vision blunders. It usually involves saying something dumb, although my latest thing is to fall down! It seems like every week I am tripping over something. It is sort of funny except that since I am in my 50’s it can be dangerous.
I recently said hello to my boss at work only to discover as he got closer that is wasn’t my boss at all. The guy probably thought I was being funny. I need a shirt that says, “Caution – I’m not dumb, just can’t see!” But I am happy for my faith that God is by my side…
Gen, I identify with your comment in so many ways. I am so embarrassed by the things I do because I can’t see well. I am learning to stop blaming myself for being clumsy, but I feel so “ungraceful” when I knock something over or trip. I try to move slowly, but still I have accidents. About falling down – I went through a stage where I was falling down a lot – down the stairs, down curbs, over misplaced items. Mobility training really, really has helped me with this. I learned a few little safety tips that helped. Also, I misidentify people all the time. I have learned to “fake” my way through this by just smiling at everyone and saying hi. I rarely call out to anyone by name – unless I am absolutely sure of who it is. In addition to your shirt, I want one that says, “I’m not drunk, just can’t see!” My mobility instructor says that the id cane will say this for me, but I am still unwilling to use it.
We need to keep our faith and our sense of humor. They will get us through this. Thanks for writing.