Today I went to see my eye doctor. I actually have three eye doctors – a Retina Specialist, an opthalmologist, and an optometrist. In the last year or so, I have been going to the Retina Specialist regularly. My last visit to my Retina Specialist did not go well. My eyesight had inexplicably deteriorated, even though my retina scans looked fine. My RS thought my contact prescription might need to be changed. So, he sent me to my optometrist for a checkup.
After doing some testing, the optometrist decided that my right eye needs a slight change in prescription. A prescription change in not in order for my left eye, however. Changing my contact is not going to improve my vision. Too bad. He believes that the problem in my left eye is caused by a “significant” cataract. He will recommend that my RS send me to my opthalmologist for cataract surgery on that eye. I have heard that cataract surgery is very quick and easy compared to a vitrectomy. It sounds like this surgery is in my future.
My vision was very bad today. With contacts on, I tested at 20/100 in my right eye and 20/400 in my left eye. That is worse even than it was a few weeks ago when I saw the Retina Specialist. The optometrist really seems to think that having the cataract removed from my left eye will make a difference in my vision. I told him that the PAM test showed that removing the cataract would not make much of a difference, but he thinks it will. He also mentioned that a cataract is beginning in my right eye, but warned me that my RS may not ever recommend surgery on that eye because of its history. So, I feel like today’s visit was good news/bad news. It’s kind of shocking to hear that my left eye vision is 20/400.
I guess the best thing I can do is to not worry about the future and not to allow myself to become discouraged. I assume my Retina Specialist will be sending me for cataract surgery. Perhaps, like my vitrectomy, my vision will improve and then deteriorate again. Perhaps there will be a miracle and my vision will improve permanently. No matter what happens, I will keep working on my mobility training. I will keep adapting and learning coping skills. I will keep striving to see beauty in the world. I will seek to find the grace in every situation. No matter what happens with my eyesight, I want to become a more joyful and loving person. My eye doctor visit tested my eyesight, but it also tested my ability to keep this vision of a wonderful future in focus. I believe I passed that test.