I think it is peculiar that I can be happy and excited and optimistic one day and then, given a night with little sleep, I lose my balance and can plunge into melancholy. Yesterday, I was full of hope and promise. I was going to change the world. Last night, I could not sleep. I stayed up too late watching the Super Bowl and Glee, and then sleep would not come to me. Now, today, I can find few positive thoughts. I am not sad, exactly, but I can’t seem to muster the energy to be joyful. At work, I just stayed in my office all day and didn’t even try to be friendly. I can’t seem to shake off the tiredness and feeling of dissatisfaction with myself.
Luckily, when I am feeling a bit out of sorts, there are any number of songs that help me to accept myself right where I am. Tonight, Loreena McKennitt provides a soothing, calming backdrop for my thoughts. As I listened to her song, Dante’s Prayer, I am reminded that I am not alone.
No matter how fragile I feel, how disappointed with myself, I do not have to give in to despair. This song reminds me that I am not alone.
Though we share this humble path, alone
How fragile is the heart
Oh give these clay feet wings to fly
To touch the face of the stars
Breathe life into this feeble heart
Lift this mortal veil of fear
Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears
We’ll rise above these earthly cares
I am so thankful for this haunting song, which captures the essence of my feelings tonight and transforms them into something beautiful. After listening to it a couple of times, I feel ready to set aside my weariness and begin to come back to myself. It’s as if the song articulated a prayer for me that I could not pray for myself – Breath life into this feeble heart.
It is good to remember, on a day when I am tired, that tomorrow will bring a fresh start and a new beginning. Tonight, I will get enough sleep. Tomorrow, the sun will rise and I will feel like myself again. I will go out in search of grace and beauty in the world. I feel hopeful. I am reminded of a little snippet of a Psalm that my Mom said to me whenever I was tired or sad at night “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” (Ps 30)
I am reminded, tonight, to count the blessings in my life and be thankful. I have so much to be thankful for. I know that tomorrow will be a better day. Even if I have trouble sleeping tonight, I can think of the beautiful line of Dante’s Prayer:
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me…
I believe that those soothing words will help me to fall asleep and sleep peacefully tonight. We are not alone. We are never alone. Joy will come in the morning.