My vision seems to be deteriorating. I can hardly bear to bring myself to write it. I have suspected it for a while, but something happened this morning that confirmed it for me. We occasionally attend Mass at St. Mary downtown, where they project the words to songs and prayers onto the wall. Before my surgery, I could never read the words. Shortly after my cataract surgery, I was delighted to find that I could see well enough to follow along with the projected words. It was a telling sign of my vastly improved vision.
This morning, we went to St. Mary and, to my dismay, my vision has returned to a point where I am unable to read the projected words. Darn. Now, this is an “unofficial” test of my vision and, the next time I see him, my eye doctor may say there has been no change. It may have been that the light was more dim than usual, and dim light does affect my vision. My eyes may have just been a bit watery, which caused the blurring. But for me, this morning, it seemed like a warning that something is going on. For the last couple of weeks, I had been noticing that my right eye does peculiar things in the morning, that it is not reacting correctly to light.
I am already preparing for my second cataract surgery next week. My eye doctor has warned me that this surgery may not be as successful as the first. I have fairly low expectations, but I do hope for some improvement.
I guess it is time to do some research. What should I expect in these post-cataract surgery days? Is this ebb and flow type of ability to focus normal? Do other people have trouble making their eyes work first thing in the morning? Will dim light continue to be a growing problem or will my eyes adjust as time goes by? If anyone would care to share their experience of post-cataract surgery recovery, please leave a comment.
Overall, I am very happy with my new vision in my right eye. I am now able to look across a room and recognize a friend. That is priceless. After my experience this morning, though, I am a bit worried that my vision is already deteriorating and I will lose my ability to recognize faces. I am not panicking, just noticing and wondering. I trust my doctors and believe that they are doing the best job possible with my eyes. I guess that I would characterize myself as “cautiously optimistic” about my vision.
Not a bad day, but a very thoughtful day, a day in which I am being very gentle with myself, a day when I am acknowledging a change but trusting that everything will be okay. A day of faith.