Cataract surgery for my left eye is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 9:00am. Someone asked me today if I am nervous. I’m really not. I know what to expect. The surgery on my right eye went perfectly well. The immediate result was wonderful. There is no reason to suspect that anything will go wrong tomorrow. I expect that the surgery will go smoothly.
My hesitation about the cataract surgery is not fear that something will go wrong with the surgery. I trust my doctor and the team at the surgery center. They do these surgeries so often that the day is almost as routine as an assembly-line. I do not believe that anything will go wrong. My hesitation is that I am afraid that the surgery will not do much good. Even worse, I am afraid that my eyesight will improve and then slowly deteriorate to being worse than ever.
The doctor does not hold out a lot of hope that there will be a big improvement in my vision. Taking out the cataract will let in more light. The new lens will be perfect. It will not have a “frosted” area. Still, it will not be exactly the right lens, since they do not make quite the right lens for my eye. The scariest aspect for me is something that I experienced after my right eye cataract surgery. I will not be able to bring anything into focus by bringing it close to my eye. All my life, no matter how bad my vision has been, I have been able to hold a page right up close to my eye and bring the words into focus, even if only for a minute. I count on this. It scares me to think about losing this ability to focus.
Since my surgery on my right eye, I have had to hold things close to my left eye. I do not have much vision in that eye, but I can focus at about one inch away. I no longer have any close focus in my right eye. After my surgery tomorrow, I will no longer be able to focus up close with either eye. Ever again. Perhaps new contacts or glasses or magnifiers will help. Perhaps my eyes will be better than ever. Perhaps all my fears and worries are for nothing.
I have already spoken to the Vision Rehab department at ABVI and they are ready to help me deal with whatever the outcome of this surgery may be. After my eye heals, I can have a new evaluation. Then, they will provide the services that I need – whatever it turns out that I need. So there is really no need for all this fear and worry. Everything will be fine. Writing this out has really helped me put things in perspective. I believe that, whatever happens tomorrow, grace will bring a great blessing to my life.